Synthetic DNA is seen as the way data will be stored in the future. The nature’s own storage mechanism offers unrivaled attributes of over 100.000-fold density, preservation for Millenia and error-proof design. Today, the technology’s goal is to reach financial feasibility by 2030 (price to store a terabyte for 1$). As with any new technology great opportunities pose also great threats. Given the hypothesis that the availability of DNA storage technology is widespread, costs are manageable, and preservation is not an issue, this might open dystopic scenarios for criminals to steal and smuggle confidential information in nearly undetectable way. We want to prepare for these scenarios by mapping out the craziest ways to use the technology for illegal purposes! How would you, as a great criminal mastermind utilize the DNA data storage for your evil plans? What might be the future challenges our companies, law enforcement and border security need to prepare for? Come to the dark side and envision the unethical, weird and extreme use cases for DNA data storage technology in the future!